I am a feminist housewife

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My husband has a very lovely godmother, who is now 84 years old. She is posh, classy and has helped us a lot in every possible way over the past few years. Obviously, we love her!

She is very very intelligent and will put any other 26 year old to shame, when you look at her juggling time between different social clubs, attending exhibitions all around Europe and, last but not the least, her history of international relationships with very interesting and acknowledged people. She is simply awesome!

But…

She is obsessed with my lack of career. Ever since, I took the responsibility of my husband’s two children upon myself, she has been extremely worried about this young ME, who is living a life without any ambition.

I understand her concerns come from love and experience or perhaps lack of it. She has worked all her life as a teacher in Cambridge. She has been a very self-sufficient, independent woman. Even at the age of 84 yrs, she is funding her own care and well-being; while managing to be a backbone for a lot of others like us! Having said that, she hasn’t been in a long marriage or ever had any children.

Every time, she calls, she would ask, ‘what are you doing these days when children are in school?’, ‘what happened to your teaching course?’, ‘has Sushi (Me) got any work at the moment?’

Nothing, Quit, No are the answers! But you can hear disappointment in her broken old voice!

It makes me ANGRY!

I have always believed that every woman should have the right to live the life she wants and chooses without getting a lot of mouth for it. We have been fighting for women’s right for years in different sphere’s of life but home. It is about time, women who have chosen to stay at home, be given enough respect for a choice they have made and not being looked down upon with sympathy or disdain.

I have a Master’s degree in Journalism. I was meant to be a BBC reporter, corresponding from different parts of the world, being the voice of women in India and fighting for animal rights etc. And when reality hit, I was a different person. I hadn’t realised my dream of being a mother, carer and a lover until I met my husband and his two children!

Not having a commercial career was not entirely my choice.

But I did choose to stay at home for my step – children and my husband. I chose to drop them off to school every morning, pack their lunch-boxes, wait outside the school gates to pick them up , chauffeur them around, bake them cakes and flapjacks for snacks, be able to cook fresh hot meals for supper every day, be there to welcome my tired husband home at the front door with a big unweary smile and a big cuddle.

A part of me hates the term, housewife because it is such a lot of patriarchal bullshit. It is this term that makes banks deny me a car or buy a house, or mingle with a certain group of parents even. But if not a housewife, what else?

It is very difficult to put together what I do without sounding simplistic or lacking authority.

But I make it possible for my husband to carry on with his paid work, while I look after other things like childcare, cleaning and washing up underwear’s!

Yet when I get asked, ‘What do you do for a living?’. I bring myself out from the hiding and seek shelter in the arms of the word, ‘Freelance‘. I freelance from time to time but I earn negligible amount to mention it as a career. I am essentially a stay at home mum.

Here’s what I do for a living

I am a cab driver, I am a cook, I am a child-minder, I am a cleaner, I am an entertainer, I am a dog walker, I am a nurse, I am a teacher, I am an event manager, I am an alarm and birthday reminder, I am a counsellor and I am the Director of it all. And I am a good one and I am proud of my little enterprise called Home!

What do you do for a living?

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